Divorce, Lust & New Love

The Wandering Rambler
5 min readOct 20, 2020

It’s never straight forward

It’s been some time since I’ve written here…infact some 20 months. My first story began with the pangs of a separation, where my wife of 8 years (partner of 10) dropped a bomb shell on me during our annual family holiday to the sun:

I don’t love you anymore

Followed by 6 torturous months later on a grey cold January morning in 2019 where I discovered that she had been officially cheating. At 9am on a Monday I discovered the truth to her secret, she was planning a dirty weekend away and by 11am I’m sitting in one of the most important job interviews of mylife. That’s a new kind of a shitty Monday!

(Spoiler: I got that job by the way!)

I thought it would be therapeutic to write about it, it was, it has been, I’ve often read back over that first story. I wrote it for myself. Yes I chose to leave out all the arguments, the torture, the torment.

Life is messy, so are our stories, but throwing mud just makes you muddy.

That said, the story never stops, life continues albeit different in ways. I still have my amazing 8 year old boy, but now I’m a single parent. Our son is doing good too, growing, more settled and still oblivious to it for now, we must be doing something right? I’m also a newly single 40 year old man. As of today, our house has been sold, we’re on the path to an amicable divorce and I’m living in my own place.

Aside: this whole living on your own thing, don’t get me wrong you’re the king of your castle, there is a certain freedom to it, the place is clean, tidy and organised for once! I’m just not built for it. I’ve ended up talking to the walls, its a lonely existence. Netflix doesn’t cut it! I want the messiness of families, a full house, a home, I want the frantic running about, it's too damn quiet!

Things are also easier with my ex-wife, now that we’re living apart but co-parenting 50%:50% its easier to get on — you know what they say:

Everything in small doses, especially poison!

(Ah a little mud is therapeutic !)

The Next Chapter

Ok the juicy bits…I’m back and single and terrified!